Chapter 1: Roquefort in Action and Getting Same

Roquefort the tall, Heathcliffian vampire stared grimly around the dimly lit bar. His pale skin glimmered in the light, and his scrotum scar throbbed with awareness of nearby prey. He looked around with his searing golden eyes. A woman was staring at him.
Roquefort sauntered over, in a way that Trevor often does, and sat next to the woman. Her long blonde hair was a silken curtain between them. He slid his hand up her long leg until it rested on her thigh.
“Excuse me?” she said in a husky, Scandinavian-Japanese voice.
“Your leg enticed me. Just the left one.” Roquefort murmured.
“That is odd,” the woman replied. “Because I am actually a model for prosthetic legs. That leg is silicone and metal.”
“Yet it feels like heaven beneath my hand,” Roquefort continued. “What is your name, you silicone-rich goddess?”
“Inger,” said Inger. “And yours?”
“Roquefort,” said Roquefort.
“Ah!” gasped Inger. “The most satisfying form of cheese. Perhaps we should... meet again..."
Inger stared at Roquefort. She could not explain her growing attraction for this strange, sexually aggressive man. “Roquefort, there is something bizarre about you, but I can’t understand what it is. And yet I long to be under you.”
“My luscious multi-ethnic darling, that can be arranged. I will tell you the secret of my life—if you let me whisper it in your ear.”
“Of course! I would--- wha?? Your short friend is humping my leg! My real leg! And he’s getting it all sticky!”
“WITHERS!” thunder Roquefort, enraged. “This is really not on. Not at all. I am locking you you of the attic tonight. Now be gone!”
Withers climbed off Inger’s real leg and slunk off, to return at a later time. Downbound Train by Bruce Springsteen came on the jukebox.
“Its getting hot in here!” Inger said.
Roquefort leaned under her thick golden hair. “My secret, you legwench, is that I am a vampire---“
Before Inger could be surprised, he sank his long and pentrating fangs into the white flesh of her neck in a penetrating fashion.
“Ah! Your long fangs have penetrated me!” Inger whispered. “And I love it.”